The 28th, I woke up in terror. I had a nightmare that Nicole died.
Why it affected me so? I don’t know. All I know is that I was supposed to be asleep till 7:30 before I had to shower and pick her up from the train station to go to school to watch a movie.
In the nightmare… class was canceled and we all wanted to know why she canceled class all that week. When I came home, and flipped the TV on, I saw a story about dozens being killed in a train wreck that happened outside of my town. So I went to Chicago to look for her apartment since she wasn’t answering any texts or calls, and I ended up being led up to some penthouse with a pool. It was at night when the pool glowed on the walls, and showing the bright stars on the all glass ceiling and then my theology teacher (Nicole’s neighbor), BC walked in and asked what I was doing here… I responded with “I’m looking for Nicole… have you seen her?” She said “She died in a car accident.” “WHAT? But she can’t drive…?” BC said “your right… she died in her appartment.” And at that moment, I dropped to my knees as the fluorescent blue pool light shimmered revealing a shadow. I turned to the pool, and saw her body floating. I screamed with tears of terror streaming down my face. I dove into the water, still aware I had my clothes, electric car key, and $400 iphone in my pockets shocking my hips gently. When I got to Nicole, I flipped her over and right when I saw her face so peaceful like in a deep trance as maggots started coming out of her nose and mouth, I woke up.
It was 5:30 am, and I couldn’t sleep so I just started my day off from there. By 9 I was heading out to pick her up while trying to not freak out from the dream….
Skip forward to Tuesday, the 4th.
I went to Chicago on the train with M, and 2 friends from GSA (let’s call them Jay-C, and Retty). Jay-C is a gay guy who’ve I’ve gotten to be pretty close with. And Retty is this adorable punkish girl whose straight, but a huge ally to the LGBT community. We all went to Boystown, and didn’t really see much but we saw a ton of sex shops and ate a lot of food.
Yet I’ve been procrastinating on my thesis, I feel like a total failure from it… Well no more. I’m going to get my head back in the game starting today at 11:59 pm, 3/8/14.