Feeling Chatty…

It’s seriously 11 hours before my property midterm, and all I can think of is blogging and job applications to Starbucks…

And google has come through yet again with another wonderful picture to describe my fear of tomorrow…

So Hard to Stay Updated…

I survived 4/5 midterms with average/ below average grades in most of my classes. I have one more midterm tomorrow, and might I say FUCK FUCK FUCK! It’s the one class that I’m extremely lost in. I just hope that the midterm in there just might be a bit easier than the things I’ve been looking at in there.

Updates… So last weekend, my parents came up to see me in Mock Trial. It was my first time competing in what feels like ages, but it’s only been 6 ish months. My phone went off in trial, and afterwards I checked to see who dared to text me.

It was Brooklyn. She texted “You have mock trial today, right? Good luck!”

I was actually a bit flabbergasted… It was the event I invited her to see me in, and since then we hardly spoke at all, and then that? I sent a quick response saying thanks. It wasn’t the last time I talk to her that day…

My parents arrived during the second trial, and they saw me “pretend” to be a lesbian attorney on trial for murder. Funny how that is partially true- the lesbian part, not the being under suspicion of murder. And even then I still identify with bisexual. Anyway, we went out for dinner and a movie… My mom and I saw The Judge, and then as I was driving back to my apartment, she had an attack… It was there my mom dropped the news about requiring dialysis or a kidney transplant.

It was right in that instant that my world crashed after just managing to stay afloat for so long to at least get through midterms.

I quickly did the most research I could, and then I texted Brooklyn being formal and only sticking to medical terms. I didn’t want to explain why I was asking about CKD, or anything and she just gave me the info and then we stopped talking.

Fast forward almost a week later to yesterday. I decided to finally ask my advisor to meet with me about the accelerated program. When I was walking into the office area, I chatted with the assistant dean and the secretary. They were so friendly and asked about how I’m adjusting, which I said I’m acclimating okay but I just have a lot going on outside of school. The dean asked about it, and I told her about my mom. She said she wanted to meet with me for moral support and to shoot her an email, and I said I’ll send her an email after my midterm. Then a 2L came out, and we started chatting. He’s a very intriguing character… Let’s call him Mo. Mo is blind. Not saying that he’s not able to do anything, but it intrigues me how well he’s doing in law school. We got on the topic of religion and about his sight. He said something during our discussion that really made me think… I stated that he must have a guardian angel protecting him when a bomb exploded on him, and damaging his eyes forever. He said that why is it luck- that wouldn’t death be something setting him free instead of living strangely… It was at that moment my advisor came out looking for me after her phone interview.

I told him I’d email him once I got back last night (and I did). Once in the advisor’s office, we talked about the accelerated program and then we got on the topic of stress. She mentioned that everyone in law school goes through a crisis… and so when I ended of breaking down about the news of my mom, she said “I think this just might be your crisis. We’ll get through it”

Last night, Mo and I emailed about our hobbies and reincarnation. He suggested we should talk more over coffee, and so I agreed and now we have a coffee date this Friday… I told Shawn since we still text everyday, and he definetely made me laugh with his line of questioning in texts.

Shawn: Male or female?
Me: Male.
Shawn: OH DAMN! Switching it up.
Me: Congrats… I couldn’t keep a straight face on just now in class.
Shawn: Which class are you in?
Me: My second to worst one- Torts.  

Raven-Symoné responds to critics: ‘I never said I wasn’t black’

Cedelle:

The fact that she doesnt want to be labeled, kind of identifies her (in my mind at least) as a hipster or a scene queen from 2007…

Not that I’m putting a label on her.

Originally posted on theGrio:

Raven-Symoné is speaking out for the first time after her highly publicized interview with Oprah Winfrey on Where Are They Now?

The 28-year-old former Disney star made headlines over the weekend after telling Oprah that she’s “tired of being labeled,” and more specifically, she does not wish to be categorized as “an African-American.”

“I’m tired of being labeled,” Symoné said. “I’m an American. I’m not an African-American. I’m an American.”

Symoné told Oprah she wasn’t sure “what country in Africa” she was from but that she did know her family’s roots are in “Louisiana.”

Symoné later clarified her statement telling Oprah, “What I really mean by that is I’m an American. That’s what I really mean. I have darker skin. I have a nice, interesting grade of hair. I connect with Caucasian. I connect with Asian. I connect with Black. I connect with Indian. I connect with each culture.”

View original 101 more words

A Crazy Week?

I’ve been trying to stay afloat after my mom was in the hospital Sunday morning, till tuesday and also after Brooklyn texted me Monday morning “I have to be honest, I had a great time on Saturday but I’ve come to the realization that I can’t handle a relationship right now. I really need to focus on my school because it’s becoming ridiculous. I’m sorry.”

So far? I’ve been annoyed at the world. I’ve been trying to get better by making amends with Dr. Rabbit on the phone on Wednesday. We spent 2 hours talking about her new job, struggling to pay bills, my dilemma with my mom and Brooklyn at the time. As we neared towards the end of the conversation, I brought up the last time we talked on the phone.

Dr. Rabbit: I didn’t talk to you again because I thought you were angry with me. 
Me: I was angry because I had lost 17 pages of my thesis and it was due in a week so I bit everyone’s heads off that week… the fact that I blurted out that I was attracted to you and then ended my message abruptly was seriously a slip of the tongue. I never meant to reveal my feelings towards you, but I guess I was just so frustrated with things in life I took it all out on you, and for that I’m sorry. 
Dr. Rabbit: Oh. It does make sense… My sister was right then. I told her about everything, and she said “she sounds stressed, but she doesn’t hate you, I mean she just confessed to you. It takes a ton of balls for a student to confess to their professor.” 
Me: -nervous laughter- hahahahahaha! wow… She totally gets me. But yeah, I guess it does take a lot to confess… It’s harder to hold it in for a year and a half though… 
Dr. Rabbit: You were attracted to me for that long? Are you still attracted to me? 
Me: It seems like it was long. And I plead the 5th on that last question… 

But needless to say, I’m actually a bit glad that finally got cleared up because the only Bridge that’s somewhat burning or maybe officially burnt down is with Ashley and her family…

Brooklyn is a Crazy… “Place”

Going off my last post (which, wow… was a long as time ago), I was anticipating a date with a girl I met on Tindr, whom I’ve named Brooklyn on here.

Whatever happened?

The date was perfect. We went to Kobe, and had Hibachi and a drink. I secretly wanted to get another drink just to say I was too tipsy if I really was going to go through with kissing her at the end of the night for paying the bill… I offered to pay my half to not burden her, but she said she got it.

Anyway, then went to the movie theatre across the street. There we saw Maze Runner, and during the movie I saw her hand taping her leg so I just had to ask her “Can I hold your hand?” So we spent a good hour holding hands before the movie ended, and then as we were walking back to our cars, we both admitted to having a good time. And then I’m assuming she was expecting a kiss but something told me to hold off on it… 2 days later (so September 29th), I figured out what made me not give in easily to kissing her.

She wasn’t ready for a relationship… And after a week since the date, I’ve come to realize that I don’t think I am ready for one either since I’m still in school for my Juris Doctorate.