I had to make a creative title. Master. So many things can come to mind with the word.
Master in a skill.
Despite being down for the longest time about not being in law school (which I guess is a blessing considering that I don’t have to spend a shit ton of money on that degree for now), I’m now doing a masters in criminal social justice.
Because law shaped me already, so I can’t give this up. But the best part: I’m finally 22, so that’s the usual age that people graduate undergrad and go do a masters, so I’m finally going to be in class with people my own age!
I thought that back in April… yeah, I’m already on my second class and no one is close to my age at all! Infact, they are older and have job experience!!! At a disadvantage yet again…
Oh well, I’ll be like I used to be and just work hard and prove them all wrong.
Where has the time flown? I remember like it was yesterday that I was just writing how excited I was to be turning 21 on here! So much has happened in the past year. I was in law school then my mom fell ill, my dog passed away, and I came back and gave up law school to get a retail job despite having a bachelors degree in sitting on my ass and drinking wine (aka philosophy… of law so that means, arguing is acceptable)… But here I am, trying to get out of the depressive state of throwing law school away with so many preoccupations with everyone back home, to come back.
But it’s for a good reason, right?
I didn’t do well in law school.
And I moved back home.
My mom needs dialysis soon…
And later today, I may possibly have to put my best friend of 14 years down… My little chihuahua.
While trying to be strong for her on our way to the vet and all of today.
Not only that but I can’t find a job, and school isn’t starting soon.
I feel at such a low point with all of this, plus trying to be strong with my own health declining.
I just want things to freeze in time. Or that I wake up from this nightmare of not doing well or that my mom isn’t dieing and that my dog is really healthy and that my organs are perfectly fine.
But this is life, isn’t it?
I have spent so much time keeping things in… That I think I snapped.
So I’m back.